The Art of Charm | Confidence | Relationship & Dating Advice | Biohacking | Productivity

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The Art of Charm Podcast is where self-motivated guys and gals, just like you, come to learn from a diverse mix of experienced mentors, including the world's best dating coaches, relationship experts, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors and other professional badasses. This is not about how to get the best out of others, it's about YOU.

We're AJ & Jordan Harbinger. In our early 20s, we decided it was time to take our lives to the next level, especially in the realm of professional networking, dating and relationships. We learned from the best performance coaches, entrepreneurs, hustlers, life-hackers, fashion and image consultants from around the world and created a program unlike anything available anywhere. We talk in-depth about the stuff you're hungry to explore but only really dig up after a few drinks.

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The Art of Charm | Confidence | Relationship & Dating Advice | Biohacking | Productivity navigateright Episode

How To Stop Self-Sabotage with Dr. Judy Ho

The tendency to self-sabotage is a part of who we are as humans, but many of us don’t even know when we’re doing it - so what can you do to identify the areas in your life when you tend to self-sabotage and what steps can you take to prevent self-sabotage in the future?


What to Listen For

  • What is self-sabotage and why do we all do it in some form or another?
  • How do we self-diagnose our own self-sabotage and what can we do to stop it so it doesn’t damage our relationships or professional career?
  • Are New Years Resolutions the best way to making changes in our lives, and what should we do if they’re not?
  • What is the biggest misconception surrounding self-sabotage?
  • How do we strengthen our willpower so that in times of potential self-sabotage we don’t fail?
  • What is the L.I.F.E. acronym and how can you use it to identify the areas in your life where you are prone to self-sabotage?
  • How does social media affect our tendency to self-sabotage and what can you do to prevent it?
  • Once you identify the triggers that cause you to self-sabotage, what can you do to change them?
  • What is the difference between diffusing a thought and fusing with one, and why should you try to always avoid one of the two?
  • How do lofty goals lead people to self-sabotage and how should you approach goal setting in a way that doesn’t lead you to feel like a failure when you don’t achieve your goals?
  • What can you do to define your values so you can live a fulfilled life?
  • When you have identified changes you want to make in your life, how do you develop a blueprint for change that you can use to structure and plan the journey to becoming a better version of yourself?
  • How do you avoid self-sabotage in romantic relationships?
  • How much time should you spend on self-development?


Self-sabotage is a tendency we have as humans to create problems for ourselves that get in the way of what we want from life. This tendency can be triggered when we find ourselves in a place of uncertainty or fear, so a great place to start in identifying your own self-sabotaging behaviors is to stop and think the next time you find yourself unsure of what to do next or how to solve an issue in your life. Rather than acting instinctively, take some time and think about how you would normally act in that situation and whether that gets you closer to your goals or pushes you away.


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Resources from this Episode

Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho

Dr. Judy Ho on Twitter

Episode 729: Self-esteem is Bullshit with Dr. Steven Hayes


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